Love Tips: Three Principles for Navigating “Love Tips”

You can be a classy gem who no man can resist. No matter your age, weight, size, or height. You can be the one to have your pick… You can shift an atmosphere to shift any relationship with a man so that  men become easy for you to deal with … It is simple and happens quickly once you have the right tools.. ALL women have what it takes to inspire a man and you do too. Many of us have shut ourselves off from our inner classy gem… Our culture has told us we must… Not true… We can be big business women and still live the life of a classy gem who is cherished at home by a loving man. It’s not one or the other. Men are not as not as enigmatic as they seem when you are in the throes of man pain… trust me… a few small changes and your world will shift… Mine did… Many lovely ladies who I know have seen a shift too… In their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s. Turning love lives around. You can do 3 simple things (… I’ll show you how) and… men will be pursuing …. you will be  the one selecting from among suitors. When we work with how WE are wired and how THEY are wired, it all falls into place. The three things…

1. You can overcome trauma with the tools on this site… 2. You can learn to speak to men in a way that works… 3. You can be present and true to YOUR feelings at ALL times…

Three principles for navigating love tips on this site…

  1. Authenticity firstEverything you speak from your lips must be 100% true in the moment, true to your real-time feelings… Drop acts… personas … pretenses… drop  sarcasm… No more trying to seem funny and laid back … that’s his job… it’s his job to squirm and impress… squirming isn’t for ladies… for a man, it is exciting to work for it… for us, it feels draining … no more cool girl who is “just one of the guys”… no more buddy mode… friend mode isn’t for ladies… it is invulnerable… it’s  a practice in guardedness…. no more pretending to love football if you’d rather be dancing … no more “playing” hard to get… he’ll feel it… he’ll sense you trying to “land” him… he won’t respect you… A classy lady doesn’t pretend… She knows who she is and lives authentically moment to moment… her true self… she knows HOW SHE FEELS and  isn’t afraid to share feelings … she lights up in everyone’s presence and a man feels lucky to be a witness … she speaks her true feelings (not about him… about HER  own emotional experience from moment to moment… even her own fiery anger  draws him in.. she feels what she feels and damn the consequences). As hard as it is to imagine… That woman is a woman who a man respects 100%, a woman he feels safe with, a rare gem he cannot resist! Authenticity first.
  2. Connection, not competition… (If you find yourself in a power struggle with a man… you’re off track… If you are struggling in a tense atmosphere, you’re disconnected from your feelings… dissociating… Arguments and Analyses aren’t very classy… That mode is rigid and distancing… In the middle of a struggle, in drama, simply stop and say… “I feel weird. I don’t know what to do. I feel disconnected. What do you think?”).  This cuts through drama and tension, reconnecting you to yourself, to the moment, and to him. Connection, not competition.
  3. NO games, NO drama, NO strategies… Authentically relating in a classy way is the ONLY way to inspire love and connection with a man … there is no way of gaming the system of long term love and attraction (If it feels like a game in your gut, if you are fixated on a single man, getting a man to do what you want by way of rules, you are trying to control a man and win him. The winning over is the man’s job, not yours. Attempting to control a man or win him WILL NOT WORK! (EVEN if you attempt it PLAYING by tried and true rules… hard to get as a game won’t work!). Why? Rules can’t SHIFT THE ATMOSPHERE. He can feel that the rule is a cover for insecurity. Rules are not classy… All forms of “trying” come across as needy, desperate… the atmosphere created pushes a man away eventually. FREEDOM is central to a man. A good man, a strong man, a man you want… that man wants a woman who is concerned with cherishing HER feelings, being true to herself more than she cares for strategies to make it work with him. Waiting to call back, avoiding his calls, analyzing his words or your own, all can be felt IN THE ATMOSPHERE… It feels clingy and needy and obsessive to him… He may not have words for it… can’t put his finger on it but he ends up annoyed and turned off. The atmosphere created by a classy lady can’t be faked whether rules are or are not followed to the letter. A woman must have a REAL shift to draw in a romantic, loving, connected, fulfilling relationship. If you end up in control mode… analyzing, strategizing, trying, exerting …you can shift… Try it now… pause, drop into your body, discern what you are feeling in this minute, feel it to the fullest (happy, sad, mad, glad),  speak it aloud with an I statement… simply… no analysis (“I feel mad”… ” confused”… whatever it is). This will interrupt and reset a toxic atmosphere… It will cut through drama… it will reconnect you to the present … to yourself… and to him …) NO Games for a classy lady.

How to Appreciate A Man… It’s Simple

No excessive gratitude, no begging… No grovelling… No initiating… No baking pies for him or his mom… No asking him out on a date… No cooking him dinner… Let a man give to you. And let yourself receive from him… Don’t minimize or reject his gifts. His giving is his way of connecting with your heart. And when you receive, appreciate what is given. Appreciate the gift. NOT the giver. How do I still receive flowers on every date from a man after 6 months… The first time he brought flowers, on our second date (our first date was coffee). I took pictures of them. I carefully arranged them. I posted pictures of them (not pictures of him and I, pictures of flowers) on Facebook. I admired the flowers, how beautiful they were. I cut the stems sideways so they would last. I put  flower food in right away. I oohed and ahhhed at their beauty. I used snapseed to tweak the images with glamour glow to bring out the yellow in the sunflower. And most important… It wasn’t disingenuous.It was authentic. As I allowed myself to start the process of dwelling on the gift, the moment took me over. I truly allowed myself to receive and enjoy flowers. I do this anytime I receive flowers. And flowers keep coming. I have so many vases now and I have flowers in every room. Flower arranging has become a fun part of my life. And… More than flowers… love keeps coming… You don’t appreciate a man by fawning all over him, reading into gifts, assessing based on a gift how he feels about a relationship, or worse yet, giving to him (which steals his masculine thunder). Simply enjoy a gift and gifts keep coming and so does the giver, your man. Try it today. It is simple … Appreciate his gifts, not the giver. And the man himself will feel appreciated. He will feel masculine and successful with you. He will feel like he can make you happy. And, it is authentic. You will truly learn how to enjoy the little things in life. Your neural pathways will change. You will become a good receiver… a woman who is practiced at letting love in… a woman who has no time to fixate and obsess on meaning and analysis because you are too busy feeling loved and enjoying the little things in life. When you focus on a man rather than his gift, he feels trapped. He feels smothered. Even mothered. On the other hand, men feel appreciated as they know they can make you happy with the things they try to do for you. It is not so much that they need to know that you love them or that you want them or that you want to be with them forever. When they know they can give to you and you can receive graciously from them, that is what rocks a man’s world and conveniently, it is also what builds a connection and ultimately rocks yours. Today…try noticing 1-2 things your man does for you. They can be small. Appreciate 1-2 little things aloud and more will come. More importantly than gifts coming your way is the fact that more intimacy, more attention, and more love come with it. Men are wired to give to a woman. We are wired to receive. Your man feels like a man if you let him give to you. Give yourself the gift of letting love in and give him the gift of being able to love you. Don’t push him away by giving back to him today. Don’t fall at his feet either. Simply appreciate the gift. The gift may be a compliment on your beauty (appreciation = “oh you’re so sweet. That feels nice to hear”), a call to say hello (appreciation = “oh it feels so nice to hear your voice”), a surprise date (“oh what a nice surprise”), a home depot visit to hang that shingle for you (“oh wow, my house looks so nice now…”) Or a rub on the arm, a head tilt, a smile, a kiss on the cheek… All nice little ways to appreciate him. It doesn’t matter what the gift is. Whatever it is, notice it… appreciate it and more will come. More gifts, more love, more femininity in you… More masculinity in him… more connection. Try it today. start a new post.