Men and Sex: How to Draw Him Closer

Three (3) tips…

When the time for physicality comes…. hugs, kisses, warm embrace, touching, making love…

1. Receive and Respond… Listen, let him initiate and be open when he does. It is part of the masculine / feminine attraction for the man to lead and you to follow.

This is no less true in bed than it is on a text, a call, or a date.

2. Melt… “Melting”  is it… Check out “melting tools” under love tips.

3. Don’t have sex to get close. Don’t have sex to get commitment. A man does not release the same quantity of Oxytocin at orgasm that a woman does. Oxytocin is a bonding hormone. Men do not associate intimacy with commitment. They may say they do but they are not physically wired that way and if you observe actions, rather than words, you can see this is true.. Just as they do not associate cohabitation, exclusivity, or dating longevity with commitment… they do not associate sex with commitment… we do… physiologically.

A good man may care that sex means something to you…and it may make him feel connected if he has feelings for you… it won’t make him commit… Commitment happens from his heart and his head aligning, not any other body part. It happens when he feels both safe with you rationally, and in love, emotionally..

There is only one thing a man associates with commitment… actual commitments… the ones he makes, not the ones you make …

And the only real commitment in a man’s mind is marriage. That is why they get married once they are sure.

Men fall in love as they invest in you. Every bit of investment a man makes invests his heart more in you. That’s why you have to leave space for him to invest. Don’t take the reins and invest in him.. As a woman, you inspire by responding and appreciating, not by giving. If you invest in thinking about a man, doing things for him, pursuing, calling, baking him pies, you drive him away. You are stealing his thunder and standing in the way of him falling in love which he can only do when he is giving.. A man cannot fall in love with a woman who is over-investing. He can’t fall in love if he didn’t have to invest HIS thoughts, energy, and actions into pursuing you. It’s how he is wired. Once this is embraced or even accepted as a working hypothesis to test, you can begin to use tools for being in melt mode rather than invest mode. As life is easier, simpler, more rewarding, you can heal and experience love.

For more on that, read about “How men fall in love” in love tips.